When I first took my three-year-old to the library for story time, I looked like a total newb. The other children raised their hands high in participation. My child stared in silence.
Do I not bring her around other kids enough? Why can’t I be a good mom like these moms and bring her consistently?
Two days after the embarrassing library venture, a failed bedtime routine caused these feelings of inadequacy to surface again. I remained calm until it’d been an entire hour of my toddler making excuses to avoid sleep, but after what felt like the hundredth time of asking her to go to sleep, I lost my cool. All day I had confronted and corrected her sin, and then mine shot out like a rocket that night. I fell short in external things like taking my child to story time consistently, and internally as my feelings spun out of control.
Will I ever do enough to feel like a good mom? Will I ever be enough to mother like the mom I want to be?
Surely every mom can identify in some way. But since it’s Christmastime, I wonder about the mother of Jesus: Mary. Did she worry that she would mess up trying to raise her son—who also was her Messiah? Did she want to cower when her son—a sinless child—saw her sin?
God entrusted his Son into Mary’s care while he lived on the earth. If something happened to him, wouldn’t it be her fault? She was to raise the Savior of the world. Was she preparing him well? And how could she bear to sin in his presence?
Luke 2:41–52 is the only account we have of Jesus as a boy. In this passage, Mary and Joseph lost Jesus. God came into flesh from her own flesh, and now she couldn’t find him. For three days, they searched in great distress until they found him in the temple.
Mary probably messed up as a mother more times than we know. She was human, and all human beings sin and fall short of the glory of God (Rom. 3:23).
But Jesus lived a sinless life under his sinful mother’s roof. And once he hung on the cross, God put Mary’s sins onto himself. Can you imagine what Mary felt after years of laboring as his mother, after years of sinning in his presence, when she saw Jesus, her earthly son, dying for her sake? She knew her insufficiency as a mother. She knew her sin. And she, full of faith that he was who he said he was, watched him die—for her.
He lived the perfect life she couldn’t. He died the death that she deserved. His perfect record was given to her as if she had never sinned. But Jesus didn’t die to atone for the sins of his mother alone. He willingly died for the sins of the whole world—to save all who place their faith in him (1 John 2:2). Just as Christ died to cover the sins of his own mother, he also died for the sins of this mother—and for you. When we place our hope in him, we become good enough because he gives us his goodness. The God of the universe, the just judge of all the earth, accepts us and celebrates us because of the perfect life, death, and resurrection of Jesus.
This is an unbelievably freeing declaration. This means that when I’m confronted with my failure, I don’t have to soothe myself with the good things I do, or with the worse things someone else is doing. I may only yell in sinful anger at my kids one of seven days. I may publicly fail way less often than the mother who lives two houses down, but the problem of the shame I feel over my sinful nature runs so much deeper than I could ever cover with good deeds or finger-pointing.
It doesn’t make sense to soften the sin Christ died for. In the same way, it doesn’t make sense to condemn myself for the sin he willingly forgives (1 John 1:9).
2 Corinthians 5:21 says, “For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.”Jesus bore the full weight of our guilt and has given us his righteousness. The shameful death he endured breaks the power of our shame. He doesn’t despise our weaknesses or insecurities. He gives us his Spirit to help us in the moments we are plagued by our failures to remind us that we are fully forgiven, loved, and accepted in Christ.
Dear mom, the coming of Christ brings you hope in the moments you feel like you don’t measure up. His better covering frees you to live a life of repentance and joyful service rather than fear of failure and condemnation.Repent today of the ways you have failed, but don’t linger! Joyfully embrace the grace of the gospel of Jesus who was good enough on your behalf.
QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION/ APPLICATION:
When is the last time you felt like a failure in motherhood? What made you feel this way?
With what sort of things do you typically try to soothe yourself when confronted with your failures?
Jen mentioned not going to the library often or early enough, which fell short of her own standard for motherhood, and sinning in anger, which falls short of God’s standard. How does placing our faith in Christ’s work on our behalf free us from both types of shame?
Spend some time in prayer confessing specific sins that cause you to feel like a failure, repent also the sinful ways you try to soothe yourself with good works or comparison. Ask God to help you believe and embrace Christ’s perfection on your behalf.
Jennifer Brogdon works from home as a contractor for The Gospel Coalition where she helps update their blog content. She mostly writes about perfectionism, evangelism, and the doctrine of grace on her blog as well as for ministries such as Desiring God and Risen Motherhood. Jennifer lives in Jackson, MS, and is a member of Grace Community Church. She enjoys leading women’s Bible studies, spending time with college athletes and international students, and all things books and coffee-related. Jennifer is married to Shane and has two young children, Brooke and David. You can find her on Twitter or Instagram @Brogdonjenn.